Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
