You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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