he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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