Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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