Dual....:-)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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