May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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