I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize