dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
