I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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