I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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