Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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