I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
