You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
