My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
