Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance