i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's