This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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