where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
