Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
