dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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