Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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