"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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