We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
