you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
