Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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