I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
