I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
