actually, I'm a sock model
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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