there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I smell stomach acid.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
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I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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