I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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