Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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