giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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