dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
