I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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