Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
