Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I've blown a few things in my day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
