"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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