wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
