i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
