You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
