problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
