If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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