My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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