carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
