This girl is more easily done than said...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
