he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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