we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
