How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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