New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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