You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
