i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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