I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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