Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
