TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
