he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
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